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Welcome to the HPRC Blog. We've got lots of information here, from quick tips to in-depth posts about detailed human performance optimization topics.

HPRC Fitness Arena: Family & Relationships

Are you dependable?

Filed under: Relationships, Trust
Being dependable is key for teamwork and group performance. Learn how to be someone others can depend on.

One key ingredient of trust is dependability—being able to depend on those around you. And trust is essential in all your close relationships, whether with your commanding officer, your spouse, or your coworker. You can strengthen your own dependability through the following:

  • Be there for others consistently. This can be as simple as returning calls or emails in a timely manner. Or it can be, for example, having your buddy’s back in a training exercise, “saving” his life.
  • Always act out of concern for another. For example, if a coworker is being badmouthed would you speak up to clear his or her name?
  • Share common interests or missions. If someone feels that you have similar goals and values, he or she is more likely to rely on you. For example, are you more likely to accept your supervisor’s influence if you know he or she values the same mission you do? The same goes at home: If your spouse feels that you both put the needs of your family over your individual interests, he or she is more likely to listen to you and trust you.

When you build trust by being dependable, you may find that those around you become more trustworthy and dependable too.” 

Father’s Day

HPRC Fitness Arena: Family & Relationships
A special thanks to fathers everywhere on this occasion. HPRC acknowledges your unique contributions.

HPRC salutes Father’s Day with special recognition of the many fathers out there who honorably serve their country, their families, their children, and themselves. Thanks for all you do! HPRC’s work helps to keep all men—current fathers, future fathers, and sons of fathers—healthy, happy, and fit so that every day can feel like Father’s Day!

The foundations of Total Force Fitness

Get back to basics with the foundations of Total Force Fitness: health, resilience, and performance optimization. What are they and how do they go together?

Have you heard the terms “resilience” and “Total Force Fitness,” but you’re not quite sure what they mean or where they fit into the health and performance picture? Read on.

Your health is the foundation. The 2010 article "Why Total Force Fitness?" states, “nothing works without health.” Health is not just physical and not just something to worry about when you’re sick. Health is a combination of physical, mental, spiritual, and social well-being and includes practices that promote wellness in addition to those that help you recover from sickness or injury.

Resilience is next. Resilience is the ability to bounce back—or even better, forward—and thrive after experiencing hardship. It is not the ability to completely withstand hardship but rather the ability to come back from it and grow stronger through the experience.

Next is human performance optimization (HPO). Unlike resilience, which typically requires the experience of hardship, HPO involves performing at your best for whatever goal or mission you have (whether that is your PT test, a combat mission, or raising children). It goes beyond simply resisting challenges; it means functioning at a new optimal level to face new challenges.

Health, resilience, and optimal performance are the foundations of Total Force Fitness, which is defined in the “Physical Fitness” chapter of “Total Force Fitness for the 21st Century” (see link above) as a “state in which the individual, family, and organization can sustain optimal well-being and performance under all conditions.” Being totally fit requires a holistic approach—that is, an approach that doesn’t focus on just one aspect alone such as nutrition or physical fitness, but on multiple domains of fitness. It means attending to your mind (including psychological, behavioral, spiritual, and social components) and your body (including physical, nutritional, medical and environmental components). In order to achieve Total Force Fitness, these factors come together to enhance your resilience and/or performance.

This is where HPRC can help you on your quest for total fitness. By visiting each of our domains—Physical Fitness, Environments, Nutrition, Dietary Supplements, Family & Relationships, and Mind Tactics—you can get evidence-based information on a variety of holistic topics to help you achieve and sustain total fitness. But remember that total fitness is a life-long process that will ebb and flow. And it isn’t just about you; your loved ones are an important piece of the picture, too.

To learn more, check out HPRC’s "What is 'Total Force Fitness'?" and for in-depth information, visit the Total Force Fitness Articles section of HPRC’s website.

Kids got grit?

Learn tips to help your child build “grit.”

Want to see your children equipped to persevere in the face of challenges? To instill “grit” in your kids, the trick is challenging with care, not just pushing harder.

Here are some tips to help your children develop grit:

  • Praise your children for working hard and using their talents, not for already having talent. Calling them “gifted” or “talented” doesn’t help if these labels become an excuse not to work hard.
  • Reward commitment by giving your children more chances to develop their interests. For example, if your child is always painting, try to encourage it by sending him or her to art camp.
  • Big goals usually require a lot of sustained effort for a child—more like a marathon than a sprint. Encourage persistence with words such as “Hang in there!” or “You can do it!” But remember that children have a much shorter attention span than adults.
  • Teach your children that failures and setbacks are an essential part of learning. Remind them that excellence comes from both triumphs and mistakes.
  • Give your children some space to become independent, so they can be self-reliant and self-motivated and learn from their own choices.

Grit doesn’t develop overnight. It takes time. But remember that children are children and need lots of free time and play time to develop optimally. For more insight into specific parenting styles, check out HPRC’s article about how to be a warm leader, not a drill sergeant.  

Got pain on your brain?

Pain is not just in your head, but your head plays a role. Holistic treatment that also addresses your mind may be your best bet in facing pain.

Pain can be unpredictable, uncontrollable, and unrelenting, so even the most resilient Warfighters can be vulnerable to it. Because of pain, you may experience symptoms of anxiety or depression; your mind may even exaggerate the intensity and awfulness of pain. Socially, you might experience criticism, rejection, and negative interactions with family, spouse, or peers. Even if interactions are generally positive, you may want to withdraw from people or difficult situations

Chronic pain, which lasts longer than three months and is unresponsive to treatment, can affect quality of life for many. At least 100 million adults in the U.S. suffer from chronic pain. Unfortunately, combat and other situations make Warfighters especially susceptible to experiencing injury and pain. One study of an infantry brigade found that three months after return from Afghanistan, 44% of the soldiers reported chronic pain.

The American Psychological Association has shared evidence that relief from pain is more likely when mind and body are both treated. The National Center for Complimentary and Alternative Medicine has also indicated that continued study of non-drug approaches to pain management is a priority.

The latest trend in treating pain is the “biopsychosocial model,” which focuses on exercise and sleep (not just meds and surgery) as important biological influences. Important psychological factors include thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and attention. And impactful social factors involve healthcare, family, and work. All of these factors can contribute to understanding and mitigating the impacts of pain.

The American Psychological Association shares concrete advice to manage pain, including these tips:

  • Distract yourself.
  • Stay active and exercise.
  • Know your limits.
  • Follow prescriptions carefully.
  • Make social connections.
  • Don’t lose hope.

Also be sure to check out HPRC’s mind-body techniques and resources for managing pain.

Remembering on Memorial Day

Filed under: Memorial Day
Memorial Day is not only a time to remember those who have served but to remember how to serve those who do.

Today is Memorial Day. Memorial Day began as “Decoration Day” after the Civil War. In 1882, Decoration Day became widely known as Memorial Day, and after WWII it became a day to remember all our fallen heroes, not just those from the Civil War. In 1967, Congress passed the law making it an official holiday to be celebrated on May 30, subsequently changed to the last Monday of May. We at HPRC extend our greatest appreciation to those who have perished for our nation and offer our sincere sympathy for the families left behind. There are many ways people choose to remember those who gave their lives as a supreme sacrifice to our country and its ideals. HPRC is dedicated to providing our Warfighters and their families the information they need to build resilience to prevent injury and illness and carry out their missions as safely and effectively as possible. Our desire is to reduce the level of sacrifice our warriors have to make as they fulfill their future missions for us and for our nation.

Avoid emotional “bait”!

Learn how your old relationship patterns can pop up and cause you problems now—and what you can do about it.

Tired of having family members “push your buttons” or inadvertently pushing theirs? You’ll be glad to learn it’s something you can fix. How you relate to people as an adult is shaped by the relationships you had early in life. It’s easy to get drawn into old patterns with family members. But there are some things you can do to stop taking the bait and stop putting bait out there for your loved ones to take.

For example, an old rivalry can re-emerge between siblings, even if you don’t do this with any one else in your adult life. Or it can feel like you’ve gone back in time, and you’re an adolescent again rebelling against your parent. Keep these old patterns in mind, because they can creep into your present.

Here are some tips to avoid reliving familiar conflicts or other unpleasant interactions:

  • Don’t put out bait: You can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can control yours. Be aware of what you feel drawn to do, and stop yourself if you know your next move might cause friction (such as calling someone a name, or more subtle moves).
  • Don’t take bait: Others will (consciously or unconsciously) do things that trigger your emotions (such as a snarky comment or an overly long story). Slow down and take a breath rather than responding out of impulse.
  • Assume good intentions: When you feel baited, assume that the other person isn’t intentionally triggering you and that he/she means well. Even if this is untrue, your different style of interacting with him or her can help break the pattern. And it could even start a new, more positive dynamic!

Be a “good enough” parent

Of course you want to be a good parent. Learn why being good enough might be even more important.

Instead of being a “perfect” parent, strive to be “good enough.” As a parent, you want the best for your children. At a minimum, you know you shouldn’t neglect or abuse your children. Ideally you’re a caring parent who sets good boundaries for their safe development. But some parents overdo their involvement.

The problem with working too hard to meet your child’s every need is that your child doesn’t learn to become independent. When children experience some frustration along the way or have to figure out things on their own, they become more equipped to tolerate frustration and face adversity. And they learn how to solve problems for themselves. That said, don’t leave them hanging, but gently guide them to figure out solutions for themselves.

Read HPRC’s Need to update your parenting style? to learn more ways to be “good enough.”

Thank you, spouses!

Thank you, warrior spouses, for all you do, both seen and unseen. We appreciate your unique mission and provide our thanks on this day.

The U.S. military celebrates the Friday before Mother’s Day every year as Military Spouse Appreciation Day. Initiated in 1984, this national event acknowledges and honors the commitment, courage, and sacrifice of the wives and husbands of our nation’s service members.

Military spouses are the backbones of their families and are key to the success of our warriors, both on and off the “job.” President Obama reflected this in a speech when he said, “At the heart of our Armed Forces, service members’ spouses keep our military families on track.”

So not just today, but every day, we offer our thanks and appreciation for all that you do—for keeping yourself, your children, and your spouse strong!

FAQs about relationships

Have questions about relationships? Visit the new FAQs section in HPRC’s Family & Relationships domain to find answers.

Visit the newest section of HPRC’s website—“Frequently Asked Questions About Relationships.” It includes strategies for communicating and managing conflict, building and maintaining strong relationships, and fostering parent-child relationships.

Here are some kinds of questions you can find answers to:

  • Is there such a thing as a healthy argument?
  • How can I be a better listener?
  • Why do I get so angry that I can’t think clearly?
  • Can I win more arguments than I lose and still have a good relationship?
  • How can I change my attitude and focus less on the negative?
  • How can I help my children get through challenging situations?

You can use these strategies in all your relationships—friends, coworkers, bosses, leaders, etc.—not just your intimate and family relationships.

You can find more questions and answers in “Frequently Asked Questions About Relationships.”

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