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Pick the battles you both can win

The majority of problems among couples actually are not solvable, but they can be dealt with through discussion.

Research on couples relationships over time has found that around 70% of problems among couples remain the same throughout the relationship, which means that only about 30% of problems can be resolved. Therefore, learning how to work on the problems that can be resolved and engaging in an ongoing discussion around perpetual problems is the key to happy long-term relationships. Recognizing that the perpetual problems are not going to be directly overcome can help couples be less frustrated at their partner for issues that just cannot be resolved. Therefore, learning to live with the perpetual problem, and talking to your loved one about it as needed, can help ease couples relationships in the long run.

For more information on how to optimize your relationships, see HPRC's Relationship Skills section.

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