Filed under: Families
Strong Bonds is a chaplain-led Army initiative that helps build relationship resilience. Through education and skills training, the Strong Bonds mission is to increase soldier and family readiness. Offsite retreat-style training addresses the effects of stress on military lifestyle, with programs tailored for single soldiers, couples, and families.
Visit HPRC's Military Family Skills for more information on military-specific strategies for building relationship resilience.
The FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress) Project provides online resilience training for military families affected by deployment. The project is designed to address parents’ and children’s concerns about military-combat stress injuries and combat-related physical injuries and provide helpful strategies to build family resilience.
Parents can watch videos, download handouts, and participate in private online chats with family members. FOCUS includes resources and tools for Warfighters, spouses, and professionals—and even activities children and teens can participate in. For more information, visit HPRC's section on Military Family Workshops/Programs.
Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) is a resilience-building program developed by the Army and based on 30 years of research in positive psychology and resilience building, also available for Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Coast Guard warriors. CSF is designed to give Warfighters and their families the knowledge, skills, and behaviors to help them thrive and successfully adapt to life’s challenges in this era of high operational tempo and persistent conflict.
Family resilience training modules help couples prepare for deployment and the post-deployment transition at home. These are available online for anyone to access. Although geared towards deployment and reintegration, the skills and strategies taught in the modules are relevant for families and relationships of those not currently deployed, as well.
For more information on CSF, visit HPRC's Total Force Fitness section.
Do you know about the CREDO program run by the Navy? This chaplain-run program is all about building individual and family resilience. CREDO offers a variety of one-day and weekend retreat-like events aimed at enriching the lives of participants and their relationships. CREDO provides Warfighters and their families an opportunity to build self-esteem and self-understanding, learn respect for themselves and others, accept responsibility for their lives, and develop a healthy spirituality.
If you are interested in finding out more about CREDO, check out HPRC’s Military Family Tools: Assessments & Online Workshops page, and visit HPRC's Military Family Skills for more information on military-specific strategies for families.
It’s no news that stress can take a toll on your life and can affect your relationships—which may already be under a strain from repeated deployments and combat exposure. But unmanaged stress doesn’t affect only you; it can create a ripple effect in families, which is why learning to effectively manage stress is so important. Deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, guided imagery, and body scanning are just a few strategies that can help you relax, manage your stress, and help you live your life better—and everyone in the family can learn and benefit from them.
For more tips on how to manage stress, check out HPRC’s Stress Control section.
Even wonder why HPRC refers to the sections of its website as “domains”? They came from an initiative within the Department of Defense that’s outlined in a special issue of Military Medicine titled “Total Force Fitness for the 20th Century: A New Paradigm.” Experts identified eight “domains” of fitness that contribute to the optimal, overall fitness and preparedness of U.S. military forces. With some reorganization (and one exception – medical), these domains are represented on HPRC’s website—Physical Fitness, Environment, Nutrition, Dietary Supplements (originally part of nutrition), Mind Tactics (psychological, behavioral, and spiritual fitness), and Family and Relationships (family and social fitness)—along with a section on Total Force Fitness that addresses how these domains come together to create Human Performance Optimization (HPO) for our military service members.
Families are constantly confronted with problems and the need to find solutions to them. In addition to all the challenges of everyday life that civilian families go through, military families also have to cope with additional stressors specific to the military, making the ability to solve problems a crucial skill.
Individuals tend to fare better in relationships when they discuss challenges with each other and then directly act on those problems. A book by two researchers suggests the following process for making decisions:
- Specifically state the issue
- State why the issue is important
- Brainstorm and discuss possible solutions to the issue
- Decide on a realistic solution
- Pick a specific amount of time to try the solution
Give this structured process a try and see how it works for you. For more ideas about family communication and problem solving, visit HPRC’s Family & Relationships section.
In this fifth and final week of strategies you can use to help your children and teens weather the deployment of a parent, we take a look at how you can use the experience to strengthen your family.
Week #5 tips: Honor the family strengths.
- Deployment and reintegration can be times of family strength and growth. Look at these as opportunities to practice new roles and routines that can be helpful as your family adapts to the challenges of deployment and reintegration.
- Recognize the growth of your adolescent when you return from your deployment. Many teens feel like they’ve matured during their parent’s absence and feel hurt when this goes unacknowledged. In fact, acknowledging and communicating growth and transformations for each member of the family can be a great family activity to build positive relationships.
Children grow and change over the course of a deployment, and service members can sometimes miss events and milestones. Here are some practical strategies you can keep in mind during reintegration to help your children and teenagers.
Week #4 tips: Strategies you can use during reintegration.
- When a deployed parent returns, slowly transition the roles and responsibilities of each family member at home, but don’t forget the individual needs of each person as well as the family as a whole.
- Let your children know that you love them unconditionally, but still provide clear expectations and boundaries.
- Brainstorm a list of fun activities to do as a family.
- Devote one-on-one time with each child when you return home in order to get reacquainted with your children.
- Demonstrate how to cope well with emotions. For example, children can be taught emotion management. One tool is called a “feeling thermometer.” Family members can monitor and control their feelings using the picture of a temperature thermometer to manage stress when the temperature is too high.
This week we offer some practical strategies to help you to keep the lines of communication open with your teens about deployment and post-deployment reintegration.
Week #3 tips: Maintain open communication with your teenager.
- The most important strategy to use especially with teens is to maintain open communication about concerns, emotions, and questions.
- Encourage your teens and children to speak out about their thoughts and feelings to their loved ones. It not only helps manage their emotions, but it also helps foster closer family relationships.
- Stay close to your teen or child while you are deployed using the technology they love: smartphones, Twitter, Facebook, email, etc.
- Reinforce your teenager’s growing autonomy while you rebuild and maintain your relationship in new and flexible ways. Let your teen choose how much he or she wants to stay in touch; take a hint from how—and how often—they respond to you reaching out.
- You also can encourage your teens and children to create a “scrapbook” of videos, pictures, stories, and relevant events that took place while their parent was deployed so experiences can be shared during and after deployment.