Filed under: Healthy behaviors
In all relationships, conflict management is often a key ingredient for success. However, the old belief that the best relationships are those without conflict is being replaced with the new understanding that conflict is normal in intimate relationships. The happiest couples, come to find out, are those who manage conflict without being destructive to each other.
Interestingly, research of couples problems over time shows that 31 percent of the problems couples deal with are solvable, and 69 percent are perpetual problems - so being able to manage differences over time is key to marital happiness!
Dr. John Gottman, having studied couples for over 20 years, found that there are key ingredients for relationship happiness:
- Having a strong friendship with your spouse.
- Being able to manage conflict in the relationship (and knowing which problems are solvable).
- Avoiding destructive behavior like criticism, contempt, defensiveness or ignoring your spouse.
- Building dreams and shared meaning with each other.
For military couples in particular, the ability to problem-solve and manage conflict is key to relationship happiness. Fortunately, problem-solving and conflict management are essential ingredients for Warfighter success. Through pre-deployment training, deployment, and reset, Warfighters within each branch learn key strategies for how to manage their emotions, identify problems, develop friendships, share memories together and map strategies for optimal outcomes - all of which are skills that can help foster great family relationships.
However, while deployed, each partner can change in ways that their spouse might not be aware of (both in theater and at home). That’s why making the effort to get to know each other again (even if you've been together for 50 years) is an important part of relationship happiness over time.
Take some time to ask your partner questions like:
- What attracted you to me when we first met?
- Who are your best friends at this point?
- What would you like to see happen for us in the next five years?
- What about yourself are you most proud of?
Questions like these can help foster friendship and positive feelings between you, and keep building dreams for a happy relationship and future together.
Source: These strategies were discussed at the recent American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists conference in September. Specific ideas from Dr. John Gottman's keynote speech, as well as Dr. Robert O'Brien's workshop on "Research-based Conflict Management After Combat Trauma," were used.
As stated in the Warfighter Nutrition Guide (chapter 5) , certain foods raise blood sugar, or glucose, levels better than others. Ultimately, blood glucose from foods you eat are stored in the muscles and liver, in the form of glycogen, to supply energy for future physical activity.
The term glycemic index (GI) is used to describe how high a particular food will raise blood glucose. A high GI food is more effective for replenishing muscle and liver stores of glycogen than one with a low GI. Immediately after a moderate/high intensity mission or exercise, eat foods and beverages that have a moderate to high GI to replenish the glucose used up.
Click here for more information on the Glycemic Index.
It’s important to eat something after a strenuous workout to replenish muscle stores of carbohydrate and have plenty of protein available to repair the body. Try a peanut butter and jelly (PBJ) sandwich for a great post workout meal! It’s cheap and packed with nutrition if you use natural peanut butter without added sugar and fats, and whole-grain bread.
For other post-exercise snacks please visit the Warfighter Nutrition Guide.
Rather than sitting during the day, stand when possible. During your next phone conversation, stand up. Standing burns more calories by engaging more muscles and prevents inactivation of fat burning enzymes. It uses more blood glucose which may prevent adult onset diabetes. According to this article, simply standing can improve your cholesterol and overall health – an amazingly simple strategy to improve fitness!
Dietary data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES, 2005-2006) for children between ages two through 19 suggest that children may not be drinking enough water for optimal health. The study also found that children and adolescents may be getting as much as two-thirds of their total water intake with their main meals. Try replacing non-nutritious beverages like sodas with nutritious beverages (or better yet, plain water) at meal time. This could have a positive impact on the diet, weight, and health of your children.
Eating with your family around the table is an effective way to bond, communicate, and even eat healthier! So, turn off the television and put all cell phones away during dinner time to improve family dynamics and health.
Keeping physically fit is an important part of a military career. Aboard the USS Kearsarge Marines and sailors merge creativity and enthusiasm to push their physical fitness to even higher peaks. The October 05, 2010 edition of Military Health System News has an article on how Marines and sailors aboard the USS Kearsarge find ways to supplement their physical training while at sea.
The Globe and Mail (Toronto) has an interesting piece on which activity is better for you - swimming or running? The conclusion, according to the article, is that swimming is good for muscles, joints and some (but not all) cardiovascular risk factors. But to get the full benefits from aerobic activity, include some land-based exercise in your routine at least once or twice a week.
It may be hard to avoid the convenience of fast food since it’s inexpensive, tasty, and well...convenient. But with that convenience often comes an overload of calories, fat, and sodium. To avoid these pitfalls, be mindful of your portion sizes. For more tips on how to make healthier fast food choices, view this guide by Helpguide.org.
You are more likely to seek health information online when your friends are also doing so. A recent study found that individuals with multiple friends who sign up for an online health forum were more likely to sign up for it themselves. Similarly, you’re also more likely to practice healthy behaviors when your friends do the same. To enhance your health, choose your friends wisely!