Filed under: Military families
Post-deployment life presents challenges on many fronts, including, or particularly, reestablishing relationships. The relationship between children and the returned parent often takes time to rebuild—possibly several months. This amount of time is normal, and an effort should be made to not take it personally. Rather, build positive family bonding through activities like going to the park or playing games, and allow time for the relationship to redevelop.
Strong Bonds is a chaplain-led Army initiative that helps build relationship resilience. Through education and skills training, the Strong Bonds mission is to increase soldier and family readiness. Offsite retreat-style training addresses the effects of stress on military lifestyle, with programs tailored for single soldiers, couples, and families.
Visit HPRC's Military Family Skills for more information on military-specific strategies for building relationship resilience.
The FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress) Project provides online resilience training for military families affected by deployment. The project is designed to address parents’ and children’s concerns about military-combat stress injuries and combat-related physical injuries and provide helpful strategies to build family resilience.
Parents can watch videos, download handouts, and participate in private online chats with family members. FOCUS includes resources and tools for Warfighters, spouses, and professionals—and even activities children and teens can participate in. For more information, visit HPRC's section on Military Family Workshops/Programs.
Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) is a resilience-building program developed by the Army and based on 30 years of research in positive psychology and resilience building, also available for Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Coast Guard warriors. CSF is designed to give Warfighters and their families the knowledge, skills, and behaviors to help them thrive and successfully adapt to life’s challenges in this era of high operational tempo and persistent conflict.
Family resilience training modules help couples prepare for deployment and the post-deployment transition at home. These are available online for anyone to access. Although geared towards deployment and reintegration, the skills and strategies taught in the modules are relevant for families and relationships of those not currently deployed, as well.
For more information on CSF, visit HPRC's Total Force Fitness section.
Do you know about the CREDO program run by the Navy? This chaplain-run program is all about building individual and family resilience. CREDO offers a variety of one-day and weekend retreat-like events aimed at enriching the lives of participants and their relationships. CREDO provides Warfighters and their families an opportunity to build self-esteem and self-understanding, learn respect for themselves and others, accept responsibility for their lives, and develop a healthy spirituality.
If you are interested in finding out more about CREDO, check out HPRC’s Military Family Tools: Assessments & Online Workshops page, and visit HPRC's Military Family Skills for more information on military-specific strategies for families.
It’s no news that stress can take a toll on your life and can affect your relationships—which may already be under a strain from repeated deployments and combat exposure. But unmanaged stress doesn’t affect only you; it can create a ripple effect in families, which is why learning to effectively manage stress is so important. Deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, guided imagery, and body scanning are just a few strategies that can help you relax, manage your stress, and help you live your life better—and everyone in the family can learn and benefit from them.
For more tips on how to manage stress, check out HPRC’s Stress Control section.
Armed Forces Day was created in 1949 to honor Americans serving in the military. In 1962 President Kennedy established it as an official holiday on the third Saturday in May. Why should Armed Forces Day get attention on a DoD human performance optimization website? As director of HPRC, I think this holiday has the potential not just to honor the Armed Forces but for the Armed Forces to do what it has done many times in the past: respond to a crisis for the United States. The Armed Forces go to war to support a political strategy, and no national strategy at the present time is more critical than the war on obesity and tobacco. DoD has chosen these as part of the National Prevention Strategy. So how do we fight this war? We the military can start by setting the example for the rest of the country by bringing into our homes the practices of physical fitness and good nutrition as well as a smoke-free environment. We can make fitness and nutrition a priority for our spouses and children. We can make fitness and nutrition family activities that can promote good health, form stronger families, and make family members happier, closer together, and more productive. The military family can be the model for the civilian community to copy—a family working together toward a common goal of health and fitness. The payoff is tremendous in the present and the future. The military can be the beginning of a movement across the country to fight and win the war on obesity and tobacco use. The HPRC website has lots of helpful information in this war on obesity and tobacco. Check out the site (www.hprconline.org) and look under Physical Fitness, Nutrition, tobacco (under Mind Tactics Performance Degraders), and Family & Relationships. There is much that can be done. Join the war on obesity and tobacco. Set an example in your community for healthy living. Oorah! Hooah!
Families are constantly confronted with problems and the need to find solutions to them. In addition to all the challenges of everyday life that civilian families go through, military families also have to cope with additional stressors specific to the military, making the ability to solve problems a crucial skill.
Individuals tend to fare better in relationships when they discuss challenges with each other and then directly act on those problems. A book by two researchers suggests the following process for making decisions:
- Specifically state the issue
- State why the issue is important
- Brainstorm and discuss possible solutions to the issue
- Decide on a realistic solution
- Pick a specific amount of time to try the solution
Give this structured process a try and see how it works for you. For more ideas about family communication and problem solving, visit HPRC’s Family & Relationships section.
Family separations in the military have the added stress of uncertainty. For that reason, couples may need to make additional effort in order to communicate well while separated. Two studies offer tips for how to handle communication during deployment.
One recent study examined communication between military husbands and their wives during deployment. Interviews with wives of deployed Warfighters revealed that couples can deal better with the stress of being separated by balancing talk of everyday things with more meaningful conversations. Couples generally seemed to benefit from keeping deployment communication similar to non-deployment communication in both planned and spontaneous discussions.
Another study examined communication during deployment, as well as PTSD after deployment, and found that the positive impact of emails, care packages, and letters depended on how happy participants were with their relationships. More emails, packages, or letters during deployment sent between happier couples was associated with lower PTSD symptoms post-deployment.
Both of these findings suggest that strong, happy relationships play an important role before, during, and after deployment. For more ideas and tips for optimizing your communication and/or relationships, visit HPRC’s Family & Relationships domain.
Memorial Day began as “Decoration Day” after the Civil War. In 1882, Decoration Day became widely known as Memorial Day, and after WWII it became a day to remember all our fallen heroes, not just those from the Civil War. In 1967, Congress passed the law making it an official holiday to be celebrated on May 30, subsequently changed to the last Monday of May. We at HPRC extend our greatest appreciation to those who have perished for our nation and offer our sincere sympathy for the families left behind. There are many ways people choose to remember those who gave their life as a supreme sacrifice to our country and its ideals, but most involve outdoor activities with families. HPRC (www.hprconline.org) is dedicated to providing our Warfighters and their families the information they need to build their resilience to prevent injury and illness and carry out their missions as safely and effectively as possible. Our desire is to reduce the level of sacrifice our warriors have to make as they fulfill their future missions for us and for our Nation.