Filed under: Support
Why do some people with devastating injuries do well in their recoveries and others do not? People often focus on the negative fallout, but there can be positive consequences called post-traumatic growth. Scientists use the term “disability paradox” to refer to how some people with devastating illness or injuries are still able to enjoy a good quality of life. The characteristics of these folks describe someone with a “survivor mentality.” Characteristics include:
- Subscribing meaning to one’s disability or lot in life and sharing this meaning with others.
- Not choosing to live as a victim but instead to feel empowered and motivated to deal with struggles and come out as a victor.
- Being flexible, adaptable, resilient, and rolling with the punches.
Many factors play into developing a survivor mentality. Here are some tips to help:
- Create a strong support system: family, church, community, fellow Warfighters, healthcare providers, etc. A support system should be just that—supportive, encouraging, and a promoter of independence, not an enabler for being or feeling like a victim.
- Maintain a “can do” attitude. See challenges or setbacks as an opportunity to learn and grow. Focus on strengths and abilities, not on limitations. Survivors exhibit the 4 Cs of mental toughness.
- Maintain hope and optimism; focus on the future and move from thinking about the negative aspects of injury/illness to focusing on the positives or possibilities.
September is Suicide Prevention Month — a good time to review how you can possibly help someone in need. Rule number one: Trust your instincts. If you’re worried about someone in particular, don’t ignore it—talk to that person about the concern you feel for him or her. Don’t know how? Be an ACE: “Ask, Care, Escort.”
Ask. If you’re concerned, ask directly and without judgment, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” If he or she responds “yes,” determine if he or she has a plan by asking, “Have you thought about ways that you might hurt yourself?” (Note: The more specific the plan, the greater the risk).
Care. Next, care for your friend by staying with him or her, actively listening, staying calm, and removing anything he or she could use to hurt him/herself. Don’t leave your friend alone.
Escort. Tell someone immediately. Take your friend to someone who is trained to help, such as a primary care provider, chaplain, or health professional, and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or 911 for additional support.
The Department of Defense has dedicated September to building awareness around suicide prevention. DoD has kicked off the campaign with a new Crisis Support Guide for Military Families—“Supporting Military Families in Crisis: A Guide to Help You Prevent Suicide”—that addresses suicide prevention, including warning signs, risk factors, and what to do in an emergency. Although the focus is on what families can do to help Warfighters at risk, there is advice for individuals too. Highlights include things you can do to take action: offering support, promoting a healthy lifestyle (caring for yourself, too!), and different treatment approaches that could help.
For more resources, go to HPRC’s section on suicide prevention.