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How to destroy a relationship

published: 06-24-2010 Journal entry icon

John Gottman, a noted couples researcher, has identified four characteristics that destroy relationships over time. In fact, if these characteristics are present when couples communicate, they are more likely to divorce over time. These characteristics are: criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness.  Gottman contends that these destroy relationships and termed them “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." Visit the HPRC Overall Family Optimization Skills section to learn more or see for more information (Gottman, 1994; Holman & Jarvis, 2003; Camp, Holman et al. 1993; Gottman and Levenson, 1992; Gottman 1993).