Men with cancer, especially those in the military, might hesitate to tap into helpful resources such as support groups that offer information and encouragement. Battles with cancer often trigger feelings of fear and vulnerability, and men are socialized from childhood to believe that it’s “weak” to show sensitivity. Just because men don’t express their emotions often doesn’t mean they don’t feel them. And it doesn’t mean they should have to face cancer and related challenges alone.
There’s a difference between “dwelling” on your feelings and expressing them. Speaking up often helps men process their emotions and feel less troubled. Sharing doesn’t always feel like the thing to do; the support environment makes a big difference. So what’s an optimal support group? Some men with cancer prefer these 3 qualities:
- being able to connect with others,
- participating in mixed-gender groups, and
- meeting those with mixed diagnoses.
There are other factors to consider too. Some support groups are led by professionals, while others are led by cancer survivors. Some are disease-specific (for example, prostate, lung, and colorectal cancers). Some groups are age- or gender-specific (for example, young adults, men, women, etc.), while others are time-limited, such as a 6-week series for those newly diagnosed.
But there are trade-offs, since these groups support different coping needs. While a mixed-gender group with various diagnoses can help you express yourself more easily, you might also benefit from one that shares specific information and uses a problem-solving approach.
HPRC offers helpful tips on using emotion-focused and problem-solving coping strategies. And visit the Cancer Support Community to find a local support group that works for you.