Welcome to this HPRC audio production. Before you start, please be aware this is not a substitute for medical care or supervision. This information is only for educational purposes. Please consult a healthcare professional before you do anything that might affect your health.
You are listening to a forgiveness meditation exercise. Forgiveness is shown to have benefits for people, including decreasing sensitivity to pain. Forgiveness is an age-old skill that improves with practice. Situations between couples will invariably heat up. Follow the steps below to be on your way to optimizing your marriage.
After a disagreement or full-blown argument erupts with your spouse, take a 20-minute cool-down to practice this age-old technique that has helped countless couples before you.
Come to a lying down position, facing upward, arms stretched out, palms facing up. Bring your attention into your body and feel the areas where you might feel tense. See if you can feel your pulse beating throughout your body. Settle into this position, noticing the effect of lying down.
When your mind drifts back into the argument you had, bring it back to the sensation of your breath coming in and out of your body. Take 10 breaths, and make the exhale last longer than the breath you draw in. You’re training your body and mind how to let go of stress, tension, and anger. Practice this breathing technique for up to 10 minutes, and practice bringing the mind back. If your mind goes off, bring it back over and over again.
At the end of 10 minutes, allow yourself to recall a happy memory when you and your spouse were very connected, very close. Take a moment to remember what you love most about this person you married way back when. Invite yourself to feel that sensation of closeness. Stay here recalling how it felt to be connected for one minute.
As you can, as your ability allows, return to the disagreement you had and see if you can consider a different viewpoint, as though you’re not in the argument but witnessing the argument from a place of detachment. Notice if you shut down and cave into defensiveness. How does it feel to close down in your body? No judgment here. Only witnessing yourself and your reaction. Return to the breathing practice for another minute and re-engage. Stay here witnessing. If your mind wanders, you bring it back. If you’re getting defensive, guide it back to openness. Practice this process for 5 more minutes. Can you forgive this person over time? Can you soften around sensations and stay open? Can you radically accept yourself and your spouse for all those things you are to each other and all those things that you are not?
When you are ready, come back to this room, noticing any changes you might feel now, after the exercise, from before it. Thanks for listening.
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